happy birthday mommy.

it must be so hard today. to celebrate your life. your birth. with this year shrouded in daddy's death. it is so hard. i wish for god to grant you the serenity today. to celebrate your life. the one you shared for decades with dad. and the one of today and tomorrow. happy birthday mommy. i love you.

Richard F Collins

forever.

mom sketches.

executive director.

Children's Nature Institute. 25th Anniversary.

May 27th 2010. The Skirball Cultural Center.

a revolution.

a revolutionary.

the start of a new era

www.childrensnatureinstitute.org

the sounds of summer

our first bbq of the season.

abalone cove. memorial day weekend 2010

abalone cove ii.

My brother's dream.

Last night my brother had a dream. he was making penne vodka. he needed something. tomatoes. basil. something. in his dream he went down to grandmas. we grew up with her in our house. and every sunday there was a pot of sauce on the stove. so he went down to grandmas and she was in the kitchen cooking. my brother hears my dad coming into the house behind him. his habit was to walk down to her part of the house and knock on the wall announcing his arrival. i am home. so my brother hears him. turns and looks at him. i am home he says. my brother reaches out to embrace him. and he is gone.

last night my brother had a dream. he got a gift from the universe. my father home with grandma. and there was a pot of sauce on the stove. and the water was probably up.

Jeilani Sol. 10 years.

last night I had a dream.

i was in the house i grew up in. staten island. i hear my dad calling me from the basement. 'i need help'. i go down and he is slumped on the ground having fallen off his favorite chair.

i look into his eyes. dad.

'i need your help i want to show you something'. i get on all fours and tell him to jump on my back. he does. me giving my dad a horse back ride.

he leads me to a newspaper. the cover of the sports section. staten island advance.

a picture of him and his two grandsons. jared and mathew. on the basketball court. practicing. headline reads. poppy shoots around with his grandsons before the game.-alarm goes off.

last night i had a dream. about my dad.

dad.

My Likkle Lion

Today Mikel's dangling tooth finally gave way to a cautious lisp, he couldn't even eat his pizza. so he and mom hatch a plan.

"wait i need a stuffed animal."

He goes in the closet and walks out with The Lion. A stuffed animal given to Jeilani, before she was born, a very special part of our family.

it's not whether you win or loose.

On the way to Mikel's basketball game this morning:

miki: do you still get snack if you loose?

michelle: Of course, it's not really about winning or loosing, it's about trying your hardest and having fun.

Miki: No it's not! It's about winning. It's about getting the most points. It's about being the best. It's about beating the other team.

They won (again) and the snacks were extra special.

41.

my born day.

over the hill?.

nah.

41.

what will I do this decade?

02.11.2010. birthday.

red.carpet

Last June I produced my first event as CEO of the Kanye West Foundation.

MJ.3D

Grammy night. kids asleep.

history in the making.

wake up Jei. pop on the glasses.

the future in our family room.

ucla.cal

after a Jr. Lakers blowout where Miki scored 4 and had 2 assists, we were able to head over to Pauley Pavillion and check out a UCLA/CAL game.

independence.

this morning we woke up to find jeilani dressed and reading in her bed.

mikel waked and wanted to get dressed on his own (really? do it bruh).

I walk past his room to go to the bathroom and he looses it!

"Don't look at me! You looked at me! now i am not getting dressed"!

groupie?.

got a call today. not a good one. seems in my efforts to make moves i may have stepped out of my lane. naive.

some may say ignorant. i say hungry. nonetheless it ruffled some feathers. some pretty high powered ones.

is it a fuck up? nah. a lesson? fersure. tomorrow is another day.

cue music..."that that don't kill ya, can only make you stronger, I need you to hurry up now cause i can't wait much longer..."

friends.

sunsets.

year one in los angeles. echo park. laveta terrace. beautiful west facing vistas. sunsets all year long.

san diego mission

so after a trip to san diego, a bit of research, some real brick laying and many hours of fine tuning Jeilani's 4th grade mission project is complete. seems like they've been doing these projects for generations here in los angeles. not sure why building one is more important than knowing the mission of the missionaries, but we did it. Jeilani got the fact that the indians weren't really happy about the missionaries "saving" them...not sure what the LA curriculum objective was, but I am good with that learning as a take-away...

not we're off to garage band to complete the mission podcast - sheesh! am i really learning technology from my 9 year old?!

Jei's is the first mission in this video:

trust the roots.

on a clear day. after the rains.

insisted on going up the mountain.

can't hike. yet.

drove up to the observatory.

found the perfect spot.

downtown.

snowcaps.

the ocean.

kids climb.

daddy is peaceful.

trust the roots.

basketball.

Mikel has got game! first practice - smooth with a flick of the wrist.

.

First game he goes all in and aside from scoring the most baskets in the game for either team (2) he is fast, aggressive, focused and agile. and he jumped around the court with so much enthusiasm...

check him out taking the ball down the court and the steal at the end of the clip, classic.

i'm not going

for some reason this has become a family (and very silly) chant...not so much for the sentiment in the phrase, but more for Mikel's delivery. His utter shock at seeing our christmas tree hanging out the back of the car is classic. we play it over and over and over again...

I'm not going

the 2010 holidays.

crooked body. crawling on all fours. jacked up on meds. tis the season. bed rest. stim. traction belt. more meds.

the smiling faces. bright eyes on a glorious morning. giving. giving. love. cherry apple red mustang. fuzzy pajamas. merry christmas.

dad. accross the country. healing still. missing family. loving family. dad on my mind.

healing. rest. fun. merry. love. love. family love. ocean and life. prepared. focused. and ready.

2010

peace family.

2010.

This is the beginning of my blog.

lion. sun. sol. son.

peacerespectonelove